DR. RICK:
[Looking around frantically] Why did I do this show? Why did I do this show?
SEAN EVANS:
Hey, what's going on everybody? For First We Feast, I'm Sean Evans and you're watching Hot Ones. It's the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. And today we have a very special episode with Dr. Rick in the hot seat.
He's an expert on Parentamorphosis, and his mission to help young homeowners un-become their parents has made him a household name, even starring in a series of commercials for Progressive. Dr. Rick, welcome to the show.
DR. RICK:
Thanks. Excited to be here and hungry.
SEAN EVANS:
Well, I love energy. But before we get started, I have to ask, how are you around spicy food?
DR. RICK:
I'm ok with it. I find myself in a lot of patients' barbeques, so I'm no stranger to hot sauce.
SEAN EVANS:
Well, it's a three-wing lineup today. Unfortunately for you, Dr Rick, that means a very steep ramp up. Are you ready to get started?
DR. RICK:
Sean, let's do it.
SEAN EVANS:
Alright, so this first one is the Classic Garlic Fresno.
DR. RICK:
Tasty.
SEAN EVANS:
So, you're a doctor of Parentamorphosis. For the uninitiated, can you explain what that means, exactly?
DR. RICK:
Well, Sean, I'm what's called the Parenta-Life Coach. I help young people like yourself avoid becoming their parents. Wow, that's really good. Little heat, not too much.
SEAN EVANS:
What are some red flags that one should look out for if they do have the sense that maybe they are becoming their parents?
DR. RICK:
Whew. Wardrobe is a big key. You look down and you see chunky white shoes. Or a cardigan is a big, big sign.
SEAN EVANS:
I thought this was cool, to be honest with you.
DR. RICK:
It's not. It's a huge red flag. You're a walking billboard for my help.
SEAN EVANS:
Alright, Dr. Rick. So this next wing is Los Calientes Barbacoa.
DR. RICK:
Ok. This one is hotter. Or is it actually getting hot in here?
SEAN EVANS:
Well, we've never been a big-budget show, so we do keep the thermostat in the studio at around 78 degrees to keep the cooling bill down. Plus, you know, wings don't grow on trees.
DR. RICK:
Can you tell me what else doesn't grow on trees?
SEAN EVANS:
Let's just move on to the next question.
DR. RICK:
Ok.
SEAN EVANS:
You know, I understand in working with your patients, you'll employ a variety of techniques. Can you give us a simple test that someone can use if they fear that a loved one is becoming their parents?
DR. RICK:
Sure. Let's try this. What do you see here?
SEAN EVANS:
I see…that looks to me like the OG five-wing vegan lineup from Season Two 2016 — a really good wing. You've just got to watch out for that lollipop stick in the middle.
DR. RICK:
Well, what do you see here?
SEAN EVANS:
That's another wing.
DR. RICK:
Huh. Tell me more.
SEAN EVANS:
That's a drumstick, an objectively good-looking wing. But did you know, that the flat actually has a better flavor? The meat on a flat wing — it's much more tender. So even though they're a little bit tougher to eat, it's worth that extra effort. And here's a pro tip for you: It's not the easiest or prettiest thing to look at, but when you rip it and you slip it, it's very satisfying.
DR. RICK:
Did you just go random fact into pro tip?
SEAN EVANS:
Is that a problem? What are you writing down? Is that bad?
DR. RICK:
Well, it's not good. It's not good.
SEAN EVANS:
Alright, Dr. Rick. This is the Last Dab. We call it the Last Dab because it's tradition around here to put a little extra on the last one. You don't have to if you don't want to. Oh — whoa!
DR. RICK:
Is that enough?
SEAN EVANS:
I would say that's not medically recommended, but you're the doctor here.
DR. RICK:
Oh, ok. [ECHO]
SEAN EVANS:
All right. Dr. Rick, we've talked about the early signs of Parentamorphosis and inkblot assessments. But to close things out, now that we're at the top of Mount Scoville —
DR. RICK:
That did not help at all.
SEAN EVANS:
— I have to ask, in your mission to help young homeowners, are there any success stories that you can share with us today?
DR. RICK:
Anytime a young homeowner throws out a box of cables or extra adapters or resists the urge to make a stud finder joke, I have done my job. Oh. But Parentamorphosis is sweeping the country, so there's a lot more work to do. And I'm the man to do it. Why did I come on this show, Sean? Why?!
SEAN EVANS:
Well, if it's any consolation, I sure learned a lot. And now, Dr. Rick, there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you. This camera, this camera, this camera — let the people know what you have going on in your life.
DR. RICK:
Well, my book, Dr. Rick Will See You Now is available at progressive.com/drrick. And this copy is for you, Sean.
SEAN EVANS:
Thanks so much, Dr. Rick. I know someone who could use this.
DR. RICK:
Me too. It's you.
SEAN EVANS:
And then just be careful around your eyes.
DR. RICK:
Thank you.
SEAN EVANS:
Don't wipe. Don't wipe.
DR. RICK:
I got the official eye warning, guys. I've made it.
CREW MEMBER:
Let me do it.
